i have the best of friends…each one of then almost perfect. but if there was one thing i could change about them,that would be that they become good friends of one another too(at present, only two of them are). atleast i won’t have to do the balancing act all the time.
at times when we’re together, one can feel and virtually see the tension in the air.and since all of them are my very good friends and i cannot afford to lose any of them,many of the times i am left trying to smoothen out the differences and ensuring that there is no spat.it’s not so bad as long we’re having fun,but the situation becomes grave when we start discussing some issue.that’s when the differences come out in the open. for me,it’s like walking the tightrope then. you’ve gotta maintain the perfect balance.can’t throw weight on either side,can’t favor or criticise anybody.
i don’t get it.i mean all of them are grown ups now.they behave so mature one-on-one with me.but as soon as the third person comes in,it gets all topsy turvy.they hide stuff from each other asking me not to tell it to the others.it’s hard to believe that even within just the six of us,more than half dont know that one of us even has a boyfriend or about another’s crush or another’s proposals and stuff like that.when we’re in group,i feel like sort of a storehouse of dark secrets just waiting to burst out any time.sometimes,another friend’s funda sounds so friendly…if two good friends share a secret and they have a third good friend,then shouldn’t all three of them know all about each…at the same time,i know i can’t let their trust in me down.
sigh…..it’s not easy to keep secrets……sigh sigh!!!
October 2005
October 29, 2005
October 20, 2005
it’s been a long time…my mind has been a royal mess.full of arbitrary thoughts and confusions and dilemmas and utter mayhem.
situation 1: you are given a task to complete and a deadline to do so.you are aware of its imminence but still you don’t make even an inch of a progress fearing that the result might not be desirable.you keep dillydallying to postpone it as much as you can,always in a fix as to whether to do it and get it over with or avoid knowing the result for as long as you can.
situation 2:ever faced a situation where you had to choose between what seemed good and what is thought of as good by the people? who do you listen to then,the heart or the mind.tough to make a decision huh?….but imagine knowing what is good,which even feels good but the people want you to do the opposite.what do you do then?how much do you resist…do you ultimately give in? coz if you do what the people want you to,who’s there to judge you or punish you?except only you perhaps?isn’t it worse?
situation3:you know something about one of your best friends which is important for her to know but it might break her heart.again…should you tell her?and if yes,how to break the news?
