devil’s workshop… the state of my mind

when you keep on waiting for something to happen with all your heart, your expectations invariably rise in proportion with the time elapsed; and by the time that it actually comes to you, you have forgotten why was it so much awaited in the first place….. at that time all that matters is that you’ve got it. the joy is not because of your achieving that thing really but because of the successful conclusion of that wait, of knowing that the you were biding by was not such a waste after all,it has brought you atleast something… it doesn’t matter if the utility or the quality or the significance of that thing has changed by then…

hehe…. i never wrote so much bullshit in 5 min ever  before… guess i’m getting worse by the day.. or maybe better at gibberish .

anyways, this was the summary of my last two months.didn’t have any work on hands. and now that there is some menial clerical job, in the end it doesn’t even matter what kind of work it is. see, i’ve even have the luxury to take time out to write this meaningless post.

signing off now….

ciao….

 

still can’t get in the groove of new life….

it’s official now. i’m a graduate …. last month i was bestowed with my cherished and hard-earned degree with all pomp and show. the moment was magical,as if angels have come down to the earth to make this occassion auspicious…. am i overwhelmed?… nah, just exaggerating …. anyways the point is that now all ties with my alma mater have been snapped. i have no reason to return to it although there is always this eternal longing to go back to its embracing  abode.

life in the office has been the way it was before.the only difference being my perception of it. non-college friends were never so boring before. nobody is adventurous enough to be insane or wild enough to do crazy stuff.  i’m not asking them to go bungee or sky-dive, a few goings-out would do. it’s been 3months since i joined and we haven’t even had a single outing per se… the only respite from this boredom is the once-in-a-blue-moon-trips back to the hostel where i still have some friends i can actually have fun with.

signing off now…. looking forward to a good weekend with those friends……..

 

the final year at college is drawing to a close and it’s about time to leave. how am i feeling???…..well nothing as of yet. maybe because of so many other things that have been going on around me……extension of BTP….mysterious change in gap’s behaviour…sudden realisation that i still haven’t found flatmates….an unexpected long silence from people in Germany(all of Britta,Markus, Tassilo and Michl)….the extremely high weight of guilt due to Nainital trip….etc etc…
but sometimes when we sit together and discuss how will life be after we step out of here and step into the real world, i get scared. not because i dont find myself capable of handling any kind of challenges,but because i worry that we won’t be able to maintain as good a friendship as we have now………ok so we have decided that we’ll take a vacation together every year and be in touch but i’m not sure if everyone is really going to do that.
watching ‘Dil Chahta Hai’ yesterday deepened this worry…as it is, not all of us friends would be living in the same state,leave alone the city. perhaps we’ll find a new group at our new workplace or at home and life will go on as ever. we’ve been doing this all our life,haven’t we?
first we left behind kindergarten friends,then high school,then secondary school,maybe now it’s turn to leave college friends behind.